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  The easist/cheapest/safest thing to do would be to retain a lawyer to write those scary legalese letters FOR YOU. They'd be from a law firm, the cost per hour to send a letter actually isn't as bad as you think, and retaining a lawyer is a nice thing to have as an activist in case something happens. A lot of lawyers don't even charge for the initial consultation and you can call your state's bar to get referrals if you aren't sure what kind of lawyer you need.

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  The only acceptable jello contains booze.

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  How many of us **STILL** have scars from falling off our bikes last century? I bet some of us even still have road gravel in our bodies.