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  I am reliably informed that I am a cruel cruel man who is busy starving his cat.

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  Intrusive thought of the day: A waxed cotton jacket made using the ear wax of its owner. The ultimate in personalised outerwear!

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  I swear Amazon drivers know when they have a delicate package. Our usual driver will dump *everything* on the doorstep and not even try to put it through the letterbox. Today's Amazon order included a bottle of ink, so naturally everything was forced through the letterbox using brute force. 🤦‍♂️

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  At what age do children stop consuming their body weight in food every meal time? I’m not sure how much longer my wallet can take this! 😭 #parenting

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  I have been using a #fountainpen pretty exclusively for a couple of weeks now and one thing has jumped out at me. The last time I used a fountain pen was in school about 20 years ago and I still have the habits I built up back then. The big one that has surprised me is the angle I hold pens at. I always struggle with ballpoints because I angle them too low and the ink doesn't flow cleanly onto the page or the bit the ball sits in catches the paper. It turns out this angle *just works* w...

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  Eldest Gremlin has solved climate change. All we need to do is demolish all existing power plants, restoring the land to nature across the entire globe. Except in New Zealand. Sorry Kiwis, you guys are getting relocated and New Zealand is becoming a pair or giant nuclear power stations. #parenting #kids #climateChange

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  Sometimes I feel we have made a mistake with the internet. Can we roll back to the way the internet was in 1926?